Measured speech is one of the most attractive forms of speech, as long as it’s not a sign of indecision. It implies that you have thought through what you are saying, and are giving the words enough value not to rush. It makes your listeners take notice, gives them time to absorb what you say and stops you from saying too much, not allowing you to interrupt, talk over, and bulldoze your point. Practiced over the years, it develops into a trademark of leadership, which demands attention without having to yell.
That’s the first step — paying attention to your breathing and your natural cadence. Some of us talk fast out of nerves, some out of enthusiasm, some out of habit. Slow down — even a little — and you will feel more in command of your pitch, your inflection, your enunciation. Your points will hit harder if you give them a little space, and you will sound more deliberate, more confident. And, usually, this is the biggest surprise to most people — you will sound more deliberate, more confident than you feel. When you’re talking this fast, this sounds like molasses.
Pauses aid measured speech: they are the rhythm section, the punctuation of thought. They give emphasis to what has been said, a moment for it to sink in. It’s not awkward; it’s deliberate. It’s what I would describe as having a conversation with the self, in the middle of a monologue. When you need emphasis, or to impart some emotion, a pause, however slight, is worth 100 words. Measured speech like this has a certain tempo, like music.
The tempo may vary slightly depending on the situation, but the act of measuring should be the same. At work, it will make you sound smart and reliable when you’re presenting, negotiating, or giving feedback. In your personal life, it will make you seem caring and interested when you’re talking to your friends and family, who will appreciate that you’re not rushing them to finish what they’re saying. And when you’re arguing, it will help diffuse the situation far better than a witty comeback. Knowing when to vary your tempo without losing your cool is what separates articulate communication from conversational filler.
Most importantly, speaking less is a sign of the peaceful and respectful character that is always inside of you. You don’t need to speak with large words or loud hands, simply with a choice to fill each and every moment with just the right message. Practice it, and you will notice that others will listen more intently instead of trying to tune you out, and they will remember the words you said, as well as the way you made them feel when you said them. In a society that is built on the idea that the faster you go, the more important you are, the best way to differentiate yourself is by taking the time to simply speak. Silently, powerfully, and with elegance.